Things I've learned as a stay at home mom

Our family has finally settled in to Hudson and think of it as home now even though I still refer to New England as home.  As in...We are going "home" for Christmas or when we were back "home" this summer...  But other than that, Hudson has become home for our family.  We love it here.  I seriously can't stress that enough.  The kids have some amazing friends, Kyle and I have made new friends, the dogs have even made friends with the puppies across the street.  All in all a good time is had by the Kane family - sometimes too good a time, but that has been a running theme for the Kane family.

We still have our challenges.  Who raises teenagers without them?  For today's challenge...  This is the first time I am truly a stay at home mom, for real.  I have held the title of stay at home mom for almost 4 years, but up until the past 6 months I have always had some extenuating circumstances that have led me to think of myself differently than as a SAHM.

At first, I left work 4 years ago because I had to fight (almost literally fight some administrators) for help at the school and research options beyond school when the school was unwilling to adequately fulfill its requirements.  It was a full time job researching and writing letters and pushing for what I knew to be the right amount of assistance for my son to reach his individual academic goals - but not so much that he wouldn't be learning on his own (side note, too often I found that the administrators at his NH schools either didn't want to help at all or they wanted the path of least resistance where they just did things for him.  Both options result in the student not learning the skills necessary to be a productive adult).

Then we moved to India.  Transitioning to and from India is a full time job in and of itself.  The crazy amount of work it took to get the most simple things accomplished like purchasing and activating a phone that took over 3 weeks.  In the few months I had in between the transitioning I spent my time adjusting and getting to know new friends and new situations.  It was a full time job just to maintain sanity in a crazy world.  Not complaining - I loved every minute and in hindsight can remember that it was always amazing.

Now, we are settled.  For almost 4 years we have been pretty unsettled which is any combination of scary, exciting and fun, but now we are settled which can be any combination of boring, fun and content.  I am, for what feels like the first time, a SAHM.  Of course, Kyle reminds me that I haven't earned a paycheck in quite some time which is probably the biggest indicator of SAHM status, but I earned my keep in the other ways mentioned above.  Now, I am not earning a paycheck, I am not fighting with schools, at least not as often as I was, I am not transitioning into or out of anything anymore, and life is pretty "boring".  The biggest indicator that I am a SAHM is that I am PTO chair for the middle school and fundraising coordinator for Mike's baseball team.  If those don't scream SAHM I don't know what does!

These are the things I have learned in my day to day minutia that I did not truly understand or appreciate before being a SAHM:

- No one in this house who stands to pee has figured out how to pee entirely in the toilet.  I clean pee off of different surfaces EVERY. SINGLE. DAY!

- I have unique and amazing powers of observation! I am the only member of my house who can see when the dogs' water dishes are empty, or the lights are left on, glasses left on the counter, shoes left anywhere but the closet and snacks left out.  Apparently all of these things are invisible to everyone else in the house because I am the only person who sees them.

• I feel that a side note needs to be added here to expand on this particular point.  My husband is very good at cleaning up and noticing clutter.  However, he does it on his own time and at his own discretion (I am very appreciative for what he does because he is much better at cleaning up than I am)  BUT... there is a specific example that highlights this point better than any other.  On Feb 13th of this year one of our dogs got into something that made him sick.  He wandered from our bed into the master bathroom in the middle of the night where he proceeded to have diarrhea everywhere including the throw rugs, the cream colored rug in the hallway and piles and piles on the tile floor.  I got up, spent 45 minutes scrubbing and cleaning and hauling garbage bags out to the garage and generally alternating between disgust, disbelief and wanting to cry.  Finally cleaned up enough to go back to bed where Kyle rolled over and asked, everything ok?  I explained and we both fell asleep. In the morning (Valentine's day) he got up and said, you sleep in - thanks hun, I was going to :).  An hour or so later he came up to check and me and said, "it still smells like poop in here, are you sure you cleaned everything?"  Yes, I'm sure.  He leaves, I am now awake and smelling the poop, I leave the room and realize there is new pile in the hallway area on the carpet that he had to walk around to get to me.  A short time later the poop was gone because I had cleaned it up while he helped Mike get ready for soccer - something Mike does not need help with!  Later that day, Mike and Kyle stop at the store and buy me totally overpriced V-Day flowers to apologize.  Now I am angrier that he spent a stupid amount of $ on flowers to apologize for poop that he had to notice but didn't because noticing meant cleaning up.  

- I have done a terrible job of teaching the children in this house how to put away laundry.  Mike's laundry stays in piles all over the hallway and his room - "it is easier to find clothes that way!"  And when I ask Jameson if his laundry is put away in his closet he always answers yes.  When I go in search of my laundry basket I find it, in his closet, with all of his folded clothes still inside.

- I don't really care if my house is cleaned and organized to perfection.  I thought for sure that when I had the time to be a true SAHM I would have the cleanest and most organized house - I don't.  Not even close.  Whenever I clean up, the house is a mess the minute the kids walk in the door so I don't bother.  The house is perfectly acceptable and my friends know they are good friends when I don't bother to do the 15-minute frantic clean before they arrive.

- I am NOT a decorator or landscaper.  I love to see other houses that are well decorated for every holiday and put together in a way the feels comfortable and organized.  I don't even try to do that here.  I stink at it.

- Apparently I am not a cook either.  I try very hard to make reasonably healthy meals most nights of the week.  Not once have I cooked a meal that was enjoyed.  The best thing I hear is, "this was good but maybe next time you could..."  I always get a thank you from Mike so I guess I am doing something right even if it isn't cooking :)

- I don't have many hobbies that introduce me to new people or interests.  I like to run and lift weights but I do not like going to traditional gyms or exercise classes so I usually work out at home.  I like to read and write of which I do a lot of both.  All of these are pretty solitary activities and I enjoy them very much - so much that I get mad at my kids when they dare to ask me a question while I am doing either.  But none of these are helping me find new interests.  I also love to travel but the SAHM status means less income to spend on travel.  We still manage to go on at least one trip a year, but I hope Kyle and I are the crazy retired travelers some day going on a different adventure each month!

All of this leads me to the shocking reality that I think I might need to go back to work.  At least at work I was good at what I did and the thank you's were from true appreciation and not because it was the polite thing to do.  And I made decent money which helped save for college and retirement.  But enough crazy talk for one day.  I am going back to the couch where I can enjoy my coffee while observing my less than perfect house and the good book I am currently reading.

Merry Christmas to all from my nearly decorated but never quite complete home!

Things are different in Hudson, OH

The family has been in Hudson, OH for 3 months now and it feels like we are finally getting settled.  Hudson is truly an amazing town.  I can't say enough good about it.  So much so that it feels a little like Whoville or Mayberry - magical places that are almost too good to be true where people are genuinely nice to each other and care about the beauty and function of the town.

Main street Hudson, OH

This picture of downtown Hudson is an example of the thought and care that goes into town planning.  The downtown area is beautiful and even minor details are thought through to bring out the small town charm.  

On our very first day in our house three 10-11 year old boys showed up on their bikes to introduce themselves to Mikey.  An hour or so later a 13-year old boy stopped by to introduce himself to Jameson.  In New England I think it would be much more likely that parents would tell their kids they can not stop by the new kid's house until they have met the family because they are strangers and, well, STRANGER DANGER!!!  

11+ years ago when we moved to Brookline we did it because of the schools.  We knew the taxes were high and that it was pretty far from everything (other than Kyle's job at the time) but the schools were considered among the best in the area.  For the most part we felt the schools lived up to their reputation.  Not perfect and certainly there were administrators with whom I butted heads, but I truly loved most of the teachers.    HB is also struggling with funding issues as many districts are.  I know people blame Common Core and special education, but Hudson deals with the same Common Core struggles and people with special needs children actually move to Hudson for better services (the system has three handicapped busses to accommodate the students with mobility needs!).  

I'm not buying the arguments!  Beginning now, Hudson schools are the standard by which I measure all other schools.  I can't believe how great the schools are.  The school goes so far above and beyond the standard curriculum offering multiple foreign languages, multiple music offerings, swimming, life skills labs and even has a gifted and talented program plus too many more to keep listing.  When we arrived on our very first day the kids were so nervous about school the guidance counselors found students to take them on tours, answer their questions and to act as mentors.  In contrast, when Jameson started at CSDA in Brookline the teacher didn't even know he was a new student and the school watched him struggle even after repeated calls from me asking for help.   At the time it felt as though the CSDA administrators went out of their way to ignore the issue and make things difficult.  Hudson has gone out of their way to help and guide the kids while also letting them assimilate and figure things out to gain confidence in their surroundings.  I realize we are only 3 months in but so far I couldn't be happier with the schools and I can't imagine being anywhere else.  

Of course I realize that I am making it sound like life is perfect in Hudson.  It is not!  My kids are still my kids...they forget their homework and take way too long to get ready for school and generally drive me crazy every chance they get!  Why can't kids ever find their shoes?!?!

It has also been a very cold winter.  I'm not complaining because we could still be in New England and have 100+ inches of snow!  Wait...we still have a house in NH with many inches of snow on the roof.  But thanks to my amazing Pope Rd. neighbors I know the house is still standing and that the roof has not collapsed!  I miss my neighbors so much!  I wish I could have brought them to OH with me.  I am pretty sure our OH neighbors are great too.  I have met a few of them and many of the kids and so far everyone is friendly and fun.  But they aren't our NH neighbors! 

Back to the cold...The cold has actually made me wish for my life back in India where the weather was near perfect and anytime I got overly frustrated with the craziness of life there we could pack up and go to some exotic location.  I knew leaving India would mean leaving my ability to travel often and since we are still trying to sell our NH house Kyle and I sort of agreed that we would not spend money on travel (by that I mean he said we wouldn't travel and I quietly stewed about it) .  So... I tried very hard not to bother Kyle about taking a vacation for spring break this year.  He probably remembers this differently - he remembers that I casually but often mentioned how nice it would be to go to a beach somewhere - but the reality is I was very restrained for me!  Somehow I did wear him down and he booked a trip to Aruba for the kids' spring break week which happens to coincide with our 18th wedding anniversary.  And truly if we want to make it to 19 years I think a vacation is required after the craziness of the past 2 years.  We made it through an international move only to uproot the kids (and me) again to a place where we knew absolutely no one and we have survived.  I guess the past 2 years has really helped all of us learn adaptability and flexibility and at the same time allowed us to recognize that we sometimes need to take a vacation for our sanity.  Vacation could mean going to the hotel down the road to swim in the heated pool, or, if you are lucky enough, it means hopping on a plane to Aruba for a week.  Either way a vacation is a nice break from reality even if reality is a bit like Mayberry!

Parents first, kids second…Moving to Ohio version

I thought I would end this blog when we returned from India, but it turns out that our life is crazy enough here in the US that there are plenty of things to write about!  Sometimes I think about blog topics while reading through Facebook.  People say (or refuse to say) some crazy things that get me thinking about my own life.

Today was one of those Facebook days.  A few people in my feed posted a link to an article about how parenting has evolved drastically in the past 30 years or so and how that parenting style is killing the American marriage.  The headline screamed to me that finally someone saw parenthood the way I see it.  We only have kids in our homes for ~20 years.  Then, if we've been successful, they move on to happy, fulfilling lives of their own.  They are still in our lives, but they are not in our homes or our marriages.  But, so many parents I know think that marriage gets pushed aside for the kids.  Kids come first…I can't go on vacation without kids…I spend all weekend driving hours to sporting events because my kids need the best competition...My kid is awesome and I love him/her more than anything…My goodness would that other parent on the side line please shut up, don't they realize my kid is better.  Ok, I never really heard that last one, but I'm sure people around me were thinking it.

I need to qualify the remainder of this post by confirming that I love my kids more than I thought possible before I had them.  BUT, at least once a day I lament over my PITA (aka, pain in the ass) kids.  I love them dearly, but boy I don't know how they are going to make it to adulthood some days.  They forget things and lose things and complain about how I don't buy enough junk food.  Sometimes my kids are just annoying, and I'm sure their behavior annoys other kids too, so I tell them to stop being annoying.  How horrible that I recognize that my kids are far from perfect and I call them on it so maybe they can make better choices and have better friendships for it.  I also let them figure things out for themselves…The HORROR.  When they were younger and another child took a toy from them, I let them figure it out.  I didn't jump in to say everyone needs to share and wait their turn.  Now that they are older I let them settle differences themselves.  They don't need me to figure out how to handle situations, they need to figure it out on their own.  And, in the meantime I can sit on the deck and have a drink with my husband :)

I almost lost sight of my marriage first philosophy recently.  Michael is furious that we are moving to Ohio.  How can I take him away from his friends and his school and his sports and everything he has known his whole life?  He spends 2 hours every Sunday night after Kyle leaves for Ohio telling me how I am ruining his life.  He makes good points for a 10 year old.  He doesn't understand why dad needs to take a job in another state.  I kind of started to think that, truth be told, Kyle doesn't NEED to take another job.  He had a great job with a great company that he had worked at for 18 years.  But then I remembered WHY he was taking another job.  It was time for him to move on and another great company with an even better job opportunity arose.  We are moving because it is the best thing for Kyle's career which means it is the best thing for our marriage.  Especially the post-retirement portion of our marriage when we hope to have the financial freedom to do what we want when it is just the two of us and the kids are succeeding in their own lives.  And if we are being honest, the kids just survived a year in India.  If they can survive that they can survive a few years in Ohio and maybe even learn more lessons on adaptability, flexibility, making friends and how to become productive adults.  Kids, are you noticing a theme here...I want you to be happy, productive adults (outside of my home)!

In the meantime, I will continue documenting all the ways my kids drive me insane and how I love them anyway.

Hmmm…it has been awhile

I guess I've been a little busy with all of the end of school year craziness and the general absurdity of an international move because I have forgotten to blog recently.  Last you all heard we had decided as a family to move back to the states.  I love to travel (hate to fly but love to travel) so I am packing a few long weekends into my schedule in order to experience as much as I can.

Mid-april was Bangalore's turn to vote in the national elections and, as with most election and government related holidays, the city was dry for 72 hours - no alcohol available for purchase anywhere - and the city offices, schools and corporations all shut down for election day so we had a long weekend!  What did we do?  We went to a dry country!  Seriously, the Maldives is considered a dry country - no alcohol is allowed into the country.  However, the resorts have exceptions so we were able to buy a few beverages during our stay.

I have heard a lot about the maldives and thought it couldn't possibly be as great as everyone says.  I didn't really entertain the idea of going because I figure I've been to beautiful beaches before so why would I spend the amount of money it costs to go to the maldives to go to yet another beach.  In all seriousness the Maldives is way out of our general vacation price range.  I kept thinking, "How can it possibly live up the expectation of world's most beautiful beaches, most beautiful diving and snorkeling?"  But EVERYONE I know who has been simply raves about it so I figured I had to at least see it while I was so close.  I can say with all honesty and without any exaggeration, the Maldives is the most perfect vacation we have ever had.

My perfect, happy place

Even the boys had a great time

Jameson, continued his "reading around the world" tour in the Maldives

We had such a fun family vacation with snorkeling, kayaking, speed boat rafting and Kyle even went scuba diving.  It was such a great vacation we even considered extending another night and keeping the kids out of school.  In the end we came home as scheduled and the kids went back to school on time.  

Luckily we had my mom's visit to look forward to.  She arrived on April 30th (very early in the am!) and was lucky enough to attend an event at Mike's school.  For those unfamiliar with Indus, it is a school that educates students from preschool through high school and has many buildings to support the student body.  None of the buildings is air conditioned.  The larger events are held in the sports complex and my poor mom had to sit, after having traveled 24 hours and been awake since at least 2 am,  for several hours watching elementary school kids talk about their leadership projects.  It was a really cute presentation but it was also really HOT.  The kids and the parents were melting and by 11:30 we left, with Mike :)

She also got to experience City Market which is the noisiest, smelliest, most crowded market I've been to.  I thought my mom might get run over or bumped into traffic about a million times while we were there.  But it was really fun to watch the people in the stalls selling their fruits and vegetables and everything else they had for sale.

From there we took a long weekend north.  We spent a full day on two flights and a 4+ hour drive along crazy mountain roads to get to our hotel in the Himalayan city of Shimla.  It was probably the scariest day of travel I've had in India yet but it was so beautiful I quickly forget about the fear.  The hotel was located on hiking trails and we were able to take the mountain roads back down the mountain to the river for some white water rafting and picnicking along the river.  The mountain roads to the river were even crazier then the main roads to the hotel.  For the most part it was narrow and windy and the drop offs did not have protective barriers of any kind.  Buses and trucks would pass without concern for space or safety.  Luckily our driver was paying attention and we made it unscathed.

OSHA not at work here.  This is a restaurant patio under construction, but open,  without any railings and a  significant drop off over the mountain.

When there is a tree in the way just build the street around it.

Our hotel, view from the hiking trails

Mikey and Kyle enjoying the post rafting picnic

One of the bends on the mountain road, sans guardrail

The truck that didn't care about any smaller vehicles

Mikey enjoying the view.

We had a great trip and my mom got the full expat effect later in the week when she watched the kids while Kyle and I attended yet another expat party. (OK, she got the babysitter effect and we got the expat effect, but it's kinda the same, right?)  Needless to say, the Mother's Day brunch the day after our expat party was a bit slow and lethargic even if it was delicious.  

I am enjoying all of these international adventures and parties, but I am looking forward to some US based adventures and lack of parties.  My liver needs a break!

See you all stateside soon!

Moving home this summer

Those of you who read my blog know that we are truly enjoying our time in India.  We have had opportunity to travel to locations that I never imagined visiting and we have all become friends with people from all over the world.  Therefore, it is with mixed emotion that I report our family is moving home to the US.  I am thrilled at the prospect of moving back home and regaining my privacy and independence and seeing my family and friends.  But, I am also sad that I am leaving an area of the world with travel opportunities that I will never see from the states and the friends that I have made during my short time here.

First, our decision to leave.  Kyle moved to Bangalore in April of last year and, in total, will have spent about 15 months here by the time we leave.  His number one goal was to identify and mentor his ultimate successor.  He has achieved this and the company is ready to move forward with the replacement.  In addition, and significantly more important to our decision, was a family reason.  We have two children - a 7th grader and a 4th grader.  The 4th grader is going to be fine no matter where he goes.  That is simply his personality and he is young enough to adapt to changing environments with ease and flexibility.  The 7th grader is a bit more challenging in changing situations.  I don't write about him often because he has forbidden me from talking about him on the Internet and given the long lectures I give him about Internet privacy and security I must take his request to avoid talking about him seriously if I expect him to listen to me on the subject.  Therefore, all I am going to say about this is that the schools in Bangalore are not appropriate for my 7th grader.  He is doing well in a lot of areas - even better than we expected in some areas - but there are a few important areas where the school is falling down on the job.  I have no problem recommending Indus for a younger student, but once a student gets into the middle school years it is woefully inadequate for a student like Jameson.  I am not alone in my feelings on this and I suspect the school sees significant declines in enrollment during the middle school years.

I absolutely have no regrets about our decision to move here.  I am confident that we have given our children everything we had hoped to during this past year.  They have seen the impact of extreme poverty and extreme wealth, they have had conversations with people from all over the world and seen that any and every choice we make - whether it be the food we choose to buy or the charities we choose to support or the words we choose to speak - has an impact felt far beyond the confines of our individual home or neighborhood or town.  There are certain choices we are not free to make...We can't choose where we are born or what our parents or friends will do or what will happen when someone else makes a bad choice that impacts us through no influence of our own.  Sometimes our choices are not our own and we need to figure out how to adapt and change to still succeed in whatever we are trying to accomplish.

Once we get home Kyle will hopefully spend far more time working in the US than he has in the past 5 years and I am hoping to go back to work in some capacity.  The kids will go back to school and sports and activities and somehow life will try to be normal again.  But, before that happens we still have two more months of craziness.  We have three short trips planned (gotta get all my travel done now, who knows when it will happen again!)  So I am counting down the days (10) until I get to go to the Maldives which was one of the top spots on my travel hit list when we arrived - we got very lucky when Bangalore unexpectedly scheduled their voting day for Thursday, the 17th of April, (voting day in India is a local holiday and businesses are expected to close) which happens to be the day before good Friday, which is always a Fidelity holiday, so Kyle and the kids have a 4 day weekend that we are taking advantage of.   We will also go to northern India and see the Himalayas for a long weekend in May and stop in Dubai for a couple of days on our way home this summer.  Emirates now flies direct from Dubai to Boston so it is a new carrier option for travel between Bangalore and the US.  We priced out the flights and surprisingly Emirates was a significantly less expensive option than Air France or British Airways so who am I to argue?

I am sure I will do a whole end of visit recap about the highlights and low lights of our India adventure, but right now I am simply looking forward to a house that is not constantly full of people working, the ability to drive myself wherever and whenever I want, consistent electricity and Internet access, drinkable tap water and salad.  I am very surprised to say that salad is the food I miss the most.

The things I will miss the most about India…the instant friendships of Palm Meadows and the expat community, the travel, and the amazing parties!  Although my liver and my waistline are looking forward to fewer parties :)

One Long Indian Vacation

Spring break at Indus happened to coincide with the Karnataka New Year holiday so the boys ended up with a week and a half vacation this month.  We decided to finally begin trekking around India and seeing some of the sights outside of Bangalore.  I haven't traveled much of India outside of Bangalore but what little I have done has proven to me that Bangalore is quite possibly the worst city in India.  Once outside of Bangalore the roads are better taken care of and the city make up seems to be better planned (not that anything in India is really planned, but the cities seem to be thrown together with better care in other places.)

India has a lot of character and charm, in its own way.  Bangalore has none.  There are very few pretty buildings, old structures, or green areas.  But outside of Bangalore there are wide roads, historic buildings that have interesting stories and even some open, green spaces that are mostly free of garbage.

Of course, India as a whole shares many commonalities inside and out of Bangalore - people are rude in groups…everyone cuts in line as a rule, not an exception.  There is no reason or logic applied to any decision.  Rules/expectations change without notice and if you aren't aware of the changes you will be yelled at.  (as an example, a group of us walking out of the airport in a throng of people had one of the main doors closed in front of us by a police officer.  No reason to close the door, all other adjoining doors remained open, but we needed to then swerve into a group of people unwilling to concede any space to allow us through.)  Every building has security at some level and men and women must go through different security lines (because it would just be scandalous if a woman had a security wand passed near her body while others could see!)  And, just like every sports stadium in the US, the women's line is significantly longer than the men's line even though the process is exactly the same.  Aside from the rude groupings of people who have no concept of personal space or organizational common sense, the most common pain in the a$$ in India is bad drivers.  I have now spent several days in cars with different drivers and they are all equally bad.  Driving too close to the cars around them, passing without space to do so, ignoring people and animals in the road, honking for no reason at all, speeding up only to stomp on breaks at the last minute just to get to the next speed "hump" 2 seconds faster, and my personal favorite…leaving the car in a higher gear for too long EVERY SINGLE TIME they need to shift resulting in the car heaving and jumping and nearing a stalled state.  As you can imagine, I am a bit frustrated from my recent travels!

But, in between the craziness and annoyance and general frustration of day to day life in India, there are some amazing things to see and do.  We started our vacation by flying to Delhi and visiting some of the sights.  The major government buildings are located in Delhi as is the Gandhi museum.  It was interesting to view the Gandhi museum because of its simplicity.  The rooms remain the same as when Gandhi lived there, the displays are mostly simple black and white photos with descriptions along with some doll house style depictions of major events over the course of his life.

But what really amazed me the most about the museum was the lack of commerciality.  In general, India is about as opposite of disney world as a place can be.  The scenery is genuine without being over the top and perfectly faked.  There are no buying opportunities with overpriced, plastic momentos that will break before they even get home.  As we left the museum there were two street vendors trying to get us to buy books and small gadgets for the overwhelming cost of about 50 cents.  That was it.  everywhere!  At the India Gate monument Kyle did buy a pair of sunglasses (Official Raybans, I'm sure!) for the excessive cost of $3.  Typically Kyle tries not to buy from the few street vendors around because it brings unwanted attention, but he had forgotten his sunglasses and what is a guy to do in the hot India sun?

This man is selling Chai on the side of the road at the India Gate

After our sightseeing adventure, we decided to spend some time at the hotel.  Interesting travel tip for families in Asia (and most of Europe too) it is extremely difficult to get a room for a family of 4.  We either purchase two adjoining rooms or a suite.  In Delhi we chose a suite and to our surprise upon arrival we ended up in the presidential suite.  This room was huge - bigger than our first apartment.  Two bedrooms with sitting areas and patios, two and a half bathrooms, a kitchen area, dining table that could seat about 12, living area and office room - all with their own patios.  It was ridiculous!  Mike was thrilled to have a hallway where he could play soccer.  We left that wonderful hotel to travel a few hours via car to Agra.  Agra essentially has the Taj Mahal, Agra fort and nothing else but poverty.

A monkey looking for food from a mother and child sitting on a window sill of a third floor level room

After consulting with our friends who have been we were told that the Oberoi is ridiculously expensive but the place to stay because of the views.  The views did not disappoint.  But we were in a suite that cost us more than the monthly rent of that first apartment I mentioned above.  And, the suite only slept three people so we still ended up with a kid in our bed.  But it was only one night and the visit to the Taj was incredible.  It is nearly impossible to get a bad photo of the Taj.  There is nothing around it to interfere with the view.  We visited a field behind the Taj compound at sunset and then, the following morning, we went into the Taj itself just after sunrise.  Even the kids were impressed with all of the detail and the optical illusions.  The planning alone was impressive, but to think that the building was created hundreds of years ago by the hands of thousands of men makes it even more impressive.

Again, I was shocked by the lack of commercialization.  It is impossible to get through an exhibit of any size in the US without being forced through a shop.  But here there wasn't even an opportunity to buy anything.  There were some children hanging around outside selling gadgets and postcards and small things.  I try to buy from the kids because I know they probably aren't going to get dinner if they don't sell enough.  And, they are usually the sweetest kids.  We got some Taj Mahal snow globes because I'm sure the Taj looks amazing in the snow  :)

After leaving the Taj we packed up our things and made the 5 hour trek to Jaipur.  Along the way we encountered a lot of street/people traffic.  Thousands of people were walking - walk-a-thon style -  through the streets on a pilgrimage to a temple that was 200km away.  They planned to make this trek, on foot, over the course of two days.  There and back!  There were people of all ages, in all sorts of footwear (or no footwear), carrying bags on their heads walking in an unorganized procession.  There were stands along the side of the road providing food and water and very LOUD music to encourage the pilgrims.  It was a sight to see.

Pilgrims listening to the music van in front.  

Eventually our route diverged from the pilgrims as we were again on our way to Jaipur.  Our "luxury" hotel experience started going downhill upon arrival at our next hotel.  The Trident is an efficient hotel that cost us very little for two rooms over two nights.  But after the luxury of the first two hotels we were feeling a bit like spoiled brats for complaining amongst ourselves that the air conditioning didn't get quite cold enough and the rooms were a bit small.  We seriously are going to need a travel adjustment when we get home so the kids (and I) remember that we are not 1%ers back in a first world country.  But the staff at the Trident was amazing and they took care of us and the kids and we enjoyed the time we spent in the pool and visiting the Amber fort. We travelled to the fort via elephant.  I never need to ride an elephant again - they are scary.  Beautiful and intelligent, but scary.  I've seen an elephant charge in the wild so I was not too keen on riding one in a crowd, but everyone does it and I was assured that elephants are well cared for and "love their work."  Don't believe it for a second.  They did not look happy.  They had men poking them with sticks on top of their heads to keep them moving forward, up a steep hill with humans on a basket on their backs.  It was scary because the seat on top of the elephant was much higher than the height of the wall on the side of the steep incline so it felt like we could topple down a steep slope at any moment.  and the elephant I was on kept veering to the wall (I think he had an itch that needed scratching and the wall was the most convenient spot).  I was terrified and feeling awful all at the same time.  Those poor elephants!  But, we disembarked the animals and after 20 minutes or so I stopped shaking enough to enjoy the Amber Fort.  It was amazing to see how royalty lived so long ago.

I won't go into too much detail because I don't remember most of it but even the kids were pretty impressed with the fort and the turkish bathing areas and mostly the ramps that were used to push the women in wheelchairs because they couldn't possibly be strong and capable enough to walk up stairs to the upper areas of the fort.

On the way out of the fort we stopped to watch a pair of snake charmers charming a cobra.  Being the daring sort I walked well out of the way to get behind the charmers and have a picture taken.  Cobras are not fun animals and this one hissed and lunged at anyone who moved near to it, but it was fun to watch from a safe distance.

The final stop on our trip to Jaipur was to an astrological park called Jantar Mantar.  It is a collection of astrological instruments including a large sundial and all sorts of other instruments that could be used to tell time and astrological readings.  And Jaipur was the end of the cultural sight-seeing portion of our trip.

On to the final stop of our vacation which was a 4 day holiday with friends in Goa.  And the hotel trend continued its down luxury slope with our accommodations for the weekend in our hut.

But the Simrose Beach Side hut accommodation was the favorite of our trip!  These hut accommodations get built in the Fall and come down in April.  They are temporary housing structures to take advantage of the 6 months of amazing weather and laid back atmosphere of the North Goa beach area.  The employees who work at the Simrose were more than accommodating and the food was amazing - which is all the more impressive when you see the small kitchen hut.  We had about 5 families staying together and the kids got their own cabana area for hanging out and eating meals which they labeled the kid zone because the adults had their own cabana area that we kept telling them was the "kid-free zone".  We relaxed, I avoided the sun and water while everyone else enjoyed them, and we watched the cows roam the beach.  This was the best weekend away we have had in awhile as a family and the kids had so much fun they are already asking to go back.  The best part - we spent 4 nights in 2 huts (2 people in each hut), 3 or more meals per day, multiple kid trips to the "free soda" refrigerator (they thought it was free for their personal use) and the many many adult beverages that kept us and all of the Simrose employees entertained during our evenings - we still spent less money at the Simrose than we did for one night accommodation at the Oberoi in Agra.  The wonders of India.

I still have a few more India locations I'd like to see but I am pretty tired of India travel for now.  The relaxed vibe attained at the Simrose was quickly dismissed at the Goa airport (aka the second worst airport in the world behind Toronto).  The airport is new within the last few months and it is complete chaos.  There are no signs indicating where anyone needs to go, luggage goes through security prior to the check in counter so that means waiting on two lines to get boarding passes, another ridiculous line for security which is so disorganized people are cutting and pushing up the line without consequence and the people manning the security lines apparently don't know the electronics rules because the boys were told to keep their iPads in their bags only to get in trouble at the other end for keeping the iPads in the bags.  Insanity.  I was thoroughly stressed, sweaty and in need of a vacation by the time I got back to Bangalore.  The insanity of India continues and I told Kyle that I expect he will book us a relaxing beach vacation outside of India during the Easter weekend.  Here's hoping he comes through :)

A little R&R in Mahabalipuram

I didn't know anything at all about Chennai or its neighboring town Mahabalipuram other than it was hot and on the east coast of India.  That was enough for me.  We needed to go to the US consulate to renew passports - which can reasonably be done in a day given the 50 minute flight time - but we decided to extend the trip into a long weekend and enjoy some time at the beach.  The resort was pretty empty and we even had our own assistant to wash the mud and sand off of the kids.

Jameson getting the mud hosed off

We had a great first day at the beach and relaxed in the HOT sun.  By day two Jameson was sick with a fever and refusing to eat.  We figured he simply had too much fun in the ocean the day before and let him sleep it off while Kyle and I went for a walk through the town.  I had no idea that Mahabalipuram  is a town filled with ancient ruins and rock carvings and temples.

Descent of the Ganges or Arjuna's Penance
this is a giant carving of 

This is a stone temple within the ancient ruins park -
not sure of the name

Shore Temple

These carvings date back centuries and contain amazing detail and history.  There were many school groups and tour groups wandering the sights while we were there.  Feel free to learn more about it here if you are interested.






























I guess the weather was good because people kept telling me it wasn't too hot.  I'm not sure what internal body temperature regulation systems they have but I thought it was hot.  In fact, when we got back to our room Michael asked me if I went in the ocean because I was soaked with sweat.


But it was worth the sweaty walk (although I am pretty sure Kyle was embarrassed to be seen with me :)  As you can see it is a remarkable place and I had no idea it was even here.  After walking through the ancient ruins we passed a park area that had lots of families and kids playing.  It looked just like any park at home with kids sledding - down a smooth, sloped rock surface!

sledding in the shade of Butterball Rock

There were many animals roaming the park.  Goats, cows and dogs all wandering together looking for food and shade.

Add caption

This guy thought that leaning down for grass was too much
effort so he just rested on his knees while eating!

Mahabalipuram lighthouse

There are also many cows wandering the streets

On the walk home from the park we took the route along the beach.  I've heard that people in India swim in their clothes but I didn't really believe it until I saw it in person.  The beach was very crowded with families and school children.  The children were in the water in their uniforms, the moms were in the water in their saris, and the men were either in their clothes or they undressed and swam in their underwear.  I didn't see a bathing suit anywhere.  So strange and it must be uncomfortable.  But it is practical I suppose.

A perfectly formed footprint in the sand.  

 Unfortunately, even after we let Jameson sleep off his headache and fever he was not any better on day three.  So Kyle, Michael and I hired a tuk tuk to take us to the chemist to buy some ibuprofen.  We have obviously been in India for some time because I am saying things like chemist instead of pharmacy and Jameson described his stomach ache by saying his stomach was paining.  Yet, I still had not been in a tuk tuk until this trip.

And, because there are no rules that I can figure out when it comes to driving in India, the tuk tuk driver let Mikey drive us home.  He is truly driving the tuk tuk!  Now all he wants for Christmas is a tuk tuk.  He said we don't have to buy him another birthday present or christmas present forever if we get him a tuk tuk.  UGH!!!  Watch out Brookline.  If you see a small yellow and green tuk tuk driving down the road get out of the way, quickly!