Christmas prep and Indus Day 2013

I mentioned in my last post how difficult it is to get in the holiday spirit here given the lack of commercialization, lack of cold weather, and lack of "Christmas in your face" nature of the holidays in the US.  I started seeing Facebook posts from friends in the US complaining about holiday decorations as far back as September.  But here, the minimal decorations just started appearing about a week ago.  and they seem so out of place in Bangalore where the temperature gets to a low of about 68 degrees in the evening.  I still sometimes feel like I am on a long, strange vacation that should end any day with our arrival back in snowy New England.  Then I realize that I am here for another 18 months and I need to figure out a way to find my Christmas spirit without the help of over-commercial displays or in your face advertising displays or snowy weather.  

We actually packed our fake Christmas tree with all of our belongings back in August.  I remember thinking that Kyle was crazy to pack our fake tree but now that I see how difficult it is to get a tree here I am very thankful to have it, even if it takes up our entire storage area the rest of the year.  Our elf also found us in India but he is much lazier here.  So far he has only moved once and I'm not sure he has any intention of moving again, but he is watching us in his typical creepy fashion.  So, we have our elf, our tree is decorated and there are a few poinsettia plants out front and that is Christmas in Bangalore!

Our Christmas tree.  

Mike and his friend, Sinjin, playing "football" after decorating the tree.  You can see why it is difficult to get into holiday spirit here with short-wearing weather!

But, what reminded me most of Christmas at home so far was the Indus Day extravaganza at the kids' school.  It had nothing to do with the holiday and was held outdoors on a Friday evening in December so I have no idea why it made me think of home, but it reminded me of the holiday concerts the younger kids put on every year at school.  The difference at Indus is that Indus Day is a HUGE production that the kids practice for months.  It is usually involves a leadership theme that the kids learn about all year long and each grade prepares a program that lasts for about 20 minutes to tell a story about that theme.  This year's theme was myths/stories and moral imagination.  There were workshops about moral imagination and what it means to each child.  My favorite part was the little girl interviewed about Beauty and the Beast and what the moral was to her.  Her answer, "If you are pretty you don't have to be nice."  My immediate thought was - so said the pretty girl :)  But I know what she meant - that you can't judge a book by its cover and that just because someone is pretty it doesn't mean they are nice.  Every child took part in a leadership seminar that talked about moral imagination and what can be learned from stories that have been passed down over the generations.  Then each grade level prepared their own interpretation of a story.  Grade 4 did an Indian story about Hunaman - each child had a part - either as a singer, dancer, story teller or actor.  Mike was one of the dancers for the Hunaman warrior dance and he was amazing (as were all of the kids!)  The kids were very serious about practicing and were so proud of their performances.

Mike at the start of the performance

I think what made me think of home was the pride in performing.  The holiday concerts at home are not nearly as elaborate or even fun (seriously, other than watching your own child, who likes a school concert?) but the kids are always so proud that they worked hard and did something well and their parents were there to see them.  

I have lots of opinions about education and school systems - both here and at home - and some of those opinions are fairly negative.  I think US schools are far too focused on tests and test scores and not nearly concerned enough about learning.  I was one of the best at getting good test scores when I was in school and I was very proud of those grades.  But it wasn't until I was 15 or 16 that I realized I was really good at taking tests and not really good at learning anything - there is a HUGE difference between the two.  Thankfully I had some great high school teachers and college professors that helped me learn how to learn and I think I am better at most things I do because of it.  I hate that schools are moving closer and closer to more test/score focused learning and that the process of learning is getting lost in the mix.  

One of my (many) concerns about Indus was its strong academic focus.  I liked that the kids would be pushed academically and Jameson in particular needs to be allowed advanced academics or he will be extremely bored in school.  But I was concerned with both the Indian reputation for rote-based learning expectations and Indus' focus on allowing the kids to do whatever they want (go to class, leave class, ignore classroom discussions) and just either pass or fail the test without any apparent concern for what was being learned in the process or accountability for what the teachers were doing to help the students learn.  I still have these concerns (especially at the 7th grade level), but this experience actually made me feel a little better.  The kids are taking part in discussions that they need to be comfortable having.  And, they are having those discussions with kids from different parts of the world, with different skin colors and different views on the world.  And, they are learning that making a presentation, whether that presentation be singing, dancing, acting or speaking, in front of other people is an important part of learning.  If you aren't comfortable speaking opinions and being open to different views you are not going to be a very happy person.  The unhappiest people I encounter are those that believe everyone else is stupid because they have different world views.  Hopefully my kids will be happy with themselves even if their views are different than others and they will learn acceptance and happiness in a world of increasingly rigid learning structures and increasingly exclusive belief systems.  In my opinion, that is what the Christmas holiday is about.

Thanksgiving in India

Thanksgiving is our first traditional American holiday here in India.  Since Thanksgiving isn't celebrated in India the kids still had to go to school and the spouses still had to go to work on Thursday and Friday.  On the up side, Friday morning was the first morning since we've been here that Kyle woke up to only a handful of emails and missed, overnight phone calls rather than the dozens he usually wakes up to.

We were able to celebrate two traditional Thanksgiving meals during the week.  On Thursday, after the kids and hubbies were all sent on their way, my friend, Sue Hess, spent the day slaving in her kitchen to provide a meal with all the American fixings.  She managed to make a turkey, stuffing, green bean casserole, mashed potatoes and wonderful pie!  I can only imagine the sight of Sue in her kitchen with her housekeeper, cook and driver all trying to help with the chopping, mixing and baking.  The household help here really does not like to let the "Madams" work at anything.  My driver won't let me carry a thing, even if I can probably carry more weight than he can.  If I move around the house attempting to do anything - put away clothes, make lunch - someone swoops in to do it for me.  I suppose it is all part of the Indian caste system where the Madams and Sirs are the ultimate bosses and should be treated like royalty.  Some people may think this is nice, I find it strange.  Given this mentality, the household help must have been beside themselves with the Madam doing any work at all.  But she did it and it was delicious!  A true American Thanksgiving even if it happened before most Americans even woke up and well before the kick off of even the earliest football game of the day.

Dinner included our family as well as the Hess family and one little Swedish girl who is friends with one of the Hess children.  At the bus stop the next morning I asked her if she liked Thanksgiving.  She said she did but didn't realize that it revolved around so much food, and only food!

On Saturday we were invited to participate in a much larger gathering with several ex-pat families in the community.  Kyle and I cooked two turkeys - one in the oven and one in the smoker.  As you can imagine from my lamenting here about the lack of reliable power, the power went out while Kyle was cooking the turkey.  He managed to move the turkey to the gas grill and finish cooking it outside.  The downside of outdoor cooking in India is that is attracts the many wild animals in the area.  In our case, cats.  And lots of them.  They found their way to the three doors to our house and sat outside crying and trying to sneak in.  It was heartbreaking and annoying all at the same time.

Kyle smoking the turkey

Around 3 in the afternoon we brought our turkeys and fixings to the party where we enjoyed the company of many people from all over the world.  There were at least 7 turkeys, 2 hams, green bean casserole, mashed potatoes, yams, stuffing, cranberries, and many other side dishes.  There was also an overflowing assortment of wine and beer.  Of course, in true Palm Meadows style, no party would be complete without over the top party decorations.  And, in India, it is true that your drivers can arrange for just about anything.  So our Thanksgiving party decorations were live turkeys.  I've never seen a live turkey in India, a country where I've seen wild dogs, cows, goats, chickens, pigs and monkeys roaming the streets, but never a turkey.  Yet, we had two live turkeys at the party watching as we stuffed ourselves on their cooked counterparts.

All in all it was a great Thanksgiving.  Good food, good friends, 80 degrees and sunny!  I know, not New England weather, but I was thankful for sunshine and kids that could run around outside for hours rather than driving the adults crazy.  We even had a traditional Indian portion to our celebration when we ended the evening with fireworks.  Many of the concerned parents reminded us that fireworks are illegal in the US and maybe this wasn't the smartest idea to light fireworks on a small street with lots of tree cover (it wasn't smart), but I had to jump in with - It's legal in NH - still not smart, but legal! Just another NH night in India I guess.

The Indian Wedding

We had our first opportunity to attend a Hindu wedding in India this past week.  Kyle's administrative assistant, Gayathri, got married on Monday.  It is typical for weddings to happen any day of the week in India, so while 9 am on a Monday morning seemed like an unusual time for a wedding to me, no one else batted an eye about it.  The wedding took place in a very religious area of India called Tirumala.

Tirumala is a hill city that is home to a significant Hindu temple where many Hindus make pilgrimages.  We noticed hundreds of people making the trek up the hillside, most in bare feet (and it is a significant hill that took 30 minutes by car).

The wedding was taking place in one of the many smaller temples in the city so we had hoped to drive up the mountain early and visit the Tirumala Venkateswara Temple.  Our early morning efforts were for naught though.  As we approached the entrance to the mountain there was a security process that took us over 30 minutes to get through.  It was quite impressive actually.  Every car and person was searched.  People needed to get out of their cars and pass through security detectors similar to airport security.  All bags had to be removed from the cars to go through scanners and the cars were searched.  While going through this process I noticed a sign that informed us we would be imprisoned for 3 months if we were caught bringing any meat products, alcohol or tobacco products, or gaming apparatus (cards, dice, etc.) into the mountain city.  So I'm not feeling quite as secure as I was at the beginning of the process, but at least I know I won't be tempted by any vices during this wedding.

The entrance to the security area upon entering Tirumala

We made it through and began the 30 minute drive up the mountain.  I was expecting the top of the mountain to be small with a few buildings and people.  I was wrong!  Tirumala is teeming with people and cars just like any Indian location.  It was hectic and crazy and we never did make it to the temple because it took us 30 minutes just to find the wedding location once we got to the city.  But, the invitation indicated that the wedding would take place from 9:15 to 10:00 so I figured we would have time to get to the temple later.  Wrong again!

I should have known better than to believe that an Indian timetable would be correct.
As an aside on Indian timing, I had a very typical interaction when I went to the mall the other day to pick up one thing I needed.  Malls typically open around 10:00 but most stores don't open until closer to 10:30.  I arrived at 10:40 thinking I could run in and out in a couple of minutes.  But, the store was still closed at 10:40.  I walked around a bit and then decided to wait outside the store at 10:50.  Two other women were also waiting (turns out they were employees waiting to get in) so I asked if they knew what time the store opened.  This is our conversation:

Me: do you know what time Jamal's opens?
Her: Open now, Madam.
Me: But the lights are off and the doors are locked?
Her: Open now, Madam.
Me: (thinking that maybe the store was open but the power was off so it appeared closed I attempted to open the door only to find it is still locked.)  But the door is locked and the lights are off?
Her: Open now, Madam.  The manager is on her way and it is open now.
Me: No, actually it will be open when the manager gets here, not now.  I think our definitions of now are a bit different.  

For the record, this wasn't an angry conversation.  It was matter of fact.  This is how it works in India. Very similar to the cable company. If they tell you they'll be at the house before noon you can expect that they may show up around 8 in the evening.  It is accepted here even if it is very frustrating to someone who is annoyingly on-time.

Back to the wedding...The wedding wasn't over until close to noon.  The wedding itself was inside a temple that resembled a Knights of Columbus basement room.  Very nondescript and institutional.  However the decorations were amazing.  Flowers everywhere and very colorful.  The bride and groom were married by Hindu priests dressed in their traditional orange clothing and it was quite amazing.  Even though the colors and the language and the process was so different from anything I am used to seeing in church, the most startling difference to me was that the guests were talking to each other and on their phones, most people weren't seeming to pay attention, and the ones who were paying attention were standing right next to or on the alter area and taking pictures right in the faces of the bride and groom. it was so strange for me because I am used to the "no photos" warning from priests and the dirty looks from anyone around me if I whisper to someone in church.

Notice the fire which is symbolic in Hindu weddings.  And I'm sure the flowers and decorations are all flame resistant - this isn't dangerous at all.

The wedding ended around noon and was followed by lunch in the basement of the temple.  Having never been to a traditional Indian wedding in India before I wasn't quite sure what to expect but Kyle knew what we were in for.  The room was set up with two long tables seating about 10 people on the outside edge.  The servers prepared food in pots that were carried into the room and finished preparing.  We sat down and large banana leaves were placed in front of us along with a small cup of water.  The water is poured onto the leaf and used to wash the leaf.  Then the food is scooped onto the leaf and, once completed, the food is eaten with your hands.  It is extremely messy!

Being the only westerners in the group, Kyle and I were given plastic spoons.  However, I was determined to have the full experience and eat with my hands.  Apparently I was not very good at it because on several occasions the other guests asked the servers to bring me a spoon.  I ended with a few spoons at my place and finally the servers stopped listening to the other guests and stopped bringing me new spoons.

Back to the temple visit…Once we realized that the wedding was going to go on for longer than we anticipated, we contacted our driver to tell him that he should go visit the temple on his own.  No need for him to miss the temple just because he is waiting for us.  He and his wife made the walk over but the lines to get into the temple were several hours long so he did not make it inside.  That was the only disappointment of the day as the wedding was beautiful and interesting and quite the experience!

And, the funny moment of the day, as we were leaving we noticed this sign that made me wonder just how many people had to shut off their engines while driving in order to require a sign?

The good and the bad of being so far away

Surprisingly to me, I haven't been terribly homesick here.  You just need to ask my Aunt Astrid about how surprising this is since I would cry for my parents anytime I attempted to sleep over with my cousin and my parents would trek the 10 miles down the highway to pick me up!  Don't get me wrong though, I absolutely miss my friends and family. But I have made lots of friends here and I am enjoying myself and enjoying our adventure so I don't get sad too often.

This week was different.  This week tested my ability to cope far away from home.  I got some bad news about a friend and I wasn't able to immediately pick up the phone and call anyone else who knew this person or anyone who at least knows me well enough to listen to me ramble incoherently.  Adding to the disconnect I felt was the realization that I received this news in a very isolating and very "2013" way.  I was scrolling through Facebook Tuesday morning (Monday night in the US) and I came across the horrific headline "Murdered Arlington Family Identified."  And right beneath that headline I saw the Facebook profile picture of a woman I used to work with holding her twin infant sons.

Naturally this news was surprising and horrifying.  I gasped out loud and the kids ran to my side to see what was wrong.  I tried to cover up for my gasp and prevent the kids from understanding the news but I wasn't fast enough and Jameson, damn his fast reading skills, read the headline and recognized that I knew the woman in the picture.  Needless to say my already anxious kid had difficulty processing this news.  In his 12 years all of his friends have been very similar to him and he has no reason to believe that anyone he knows gets hurt by family members or strangers, or even spends any time worrying about how to pay rent or grocery bills for that matter.  I have had conversations with him in the past about kids in his class that are mean to him or seem different from other kids and that he should still be nice to them even if they don't reciprocate that behavior.  He doesn't have to be friends with kids that are mean and he doesn't even have to like them, but he has to be nice to them because he has no idea if they are being treated well at home and if they are mean at school because it is all that they know.  Or if they are mean because they are hungry and the only food they get all day is the gross cafeteria food.  He has trouble with this view of the world because it goes against a child-like view that people are either good or bad, there can't be any grey area.

Then, while trying to explain to my son about the grey area of the world, I had an experience that I hope to someday share with him because it may teach him more about grey area than I ever could.  I went to an orphanage in Bangalore that houses many destitute children.  It is a large, depressing building that serves as bedrooms, school rooms, cafeteria, etc. for many parentless children (and some children who have a parent who is simply too poor to care for them).  But these children were so excited to see me and my friend when we arrived.  Edina, a new friend here in Bangalore, has been volunteering at this orphanage for several months and she visits about once a week to help teach some of the children English.  I spent about 90 minutes with these children who are learning English and was amazed at how happy they were to learn.  In fact, I was amazed at how happy they were with the few dirty, broken toys they had to play with and the one or two outfits they are required to wash themselves in buckets and lay out to dry on top of the dirty, tin roof of their building.  They sit at wobbly tables on chairs with broken backs or seats that are falling off and they share these chairs with other students and they help each other learn English.  And, they are so proud to show me their work and how well they have done.

The most exciting part of my time there was the music at the end of class.  Edina brought her iPod and sound dock and played a few songs for the kids.  They think the sound dock is magic.  How else can you explain to a child that has barely seen electricity how music is stored on an iPod and transmitted through a sound dock?

These kids have no idea where their next meal is coming from and they probably experience harsh punishments for anything that goes wrong, yet they are thankful for everything and amazed by the simplest of treats.  They are by no means perfect little kids.  This classroom had its share of the goody-goodies and the trouble makers.  It had kids that would sit, listen and complete work as well as kids who would get up and play with toys rather than do the work.  But I think that is what amazed me most - these kids are typical.  Kids are kids!

So I hope my kids are listening to me...No one is perfect and no one is all bad.  We need to be nice to everyone because we just don't know what is going on behind closed doors.  I hope my kids realize how lucky they are and just how powerful a smile can be.  I hope they learn that they have the ability to make a difference in this world and that they are in a unique position to understand that everyone comes from a different belief set and a different culture and a different way of looking at life, but that doesn't mean that anyone is wrong…and maybe it also means that there isn't anyone who is completely right either.

Here is the lecture to my kids for when they grow up...please, reach out to your friends…what they (and you) post on FB is not the true story.  It is the manipulated truth that tells a story, but not always the whole story.  Don't let neighbors be strangers and don't let distance and time prevent you from finding out how a friend is doing. And make sure you always have someone you can talk to, really talk to…with your voice and not your thumbs.

Phuket, Thailand - our first escape outside of India

The kids get a week vacation in early November because of the Hindu holiday of Diwali - which is even bigger than Christmas is for Christians.  There are lots of celebrations and fireworks and general craziness in India during Diwali.  We did manage to attend a Diwali party pre-vacation.  A neighbor of ours, the same woman who took such good care of Mikey when he was sick in September, hosted a Diwali party at her house and was gracious enough to invite our family.  There was lots of good food, many lights - both candle lights and string lights - and great people.  It was very similar to a party that we would attend in the states with the exception that most people were dressed in formal Indian attire of saris and other Indian garments.  Lots of fun!

But given that we do not have too many opportunities to travel with the kids in school we chose to spend the week of Diwali outside of India - I think it was a good choice because the ear-splitting firecrackers that were constant during day one of Diwali were enough to drive me crazy.  I can't imagine a week of that!  And, we have a list of many, many Asian locations we hope to visit and very few school vacations in which to visit them.  So, first school vacation, first trip outside of the country...Phuket, Thailand!  I had heard of Phuket long ago (mostly because I always thought it was pronounced with a "f" sound instead of a "p" sound and thought that anyplace named Fuk-It would be a good place to take a vacation).  I learned the correct pronunciation of "poo-ket" and more about the gorgeous nation during the devastating Christmas Tsunami of 2008.  Phuket was hard hit along with many other southeast Asian areas and the name became seared in the memory of many people.

The country has apparently healed very well in the past 5 years.  I could not see any indication of the destruction caused such a short time ago.  Phuket is beautiful and the people are truly welcoming.  We stayed in a Villa on the Western coast between Kata Beach and Kata Noi Beach.  We got our first taste of the area during our first excursion to the Hunaman zip lines.  These are crazy high zip lines through the rain forest of Phuket.  Jameson was not too interested in soaring on a skinny line hundreds of feet in the air so he an I went for a short hike and listened to the screams of the people flying around above us. But Kyle and Mikey and our friends the Hess' all spent an hour or so flying through the air and loving it!  Mike's refrain for the rest of the week - copying the other mom in the group - "Are you sure we are strapped in?"  

The next day was the day that Mike was most looking forward to - the Gibbon Monkey rescue.  Apparently many people in Thailand steal Gibbons from the forests and then charge tourists to take a picture with the Gibbon.  It is a way for the individual to make a decent living off of foreigners - but it is highly illegal because the animals are taken from their natural environment and live in horrible conditions and are then either killed or sent back into the woods without any hope of survival.  The rest of us were a little disappointed in the rescue because the area was very small and there wasn't much to see, but Mike was in his glory.  He loves Monkeys and is now considering becoming a Monkey Vet - not sure there is a call for that, but who knows!  He even adopted a mating pair of Gibbons that the rescue groups hope will form a family so they can be released back into the wild.  

Here is the proud adopter with his certificate of adoption.

Our next trip was supposed to be to a safari where we would go on a raft safari and then ride on elephants.  I was really looking forward to this but when we woke up Tuesday morning Mike had a fever and a sore throat so I made the mom call and told him that he and I would stay at the villa while everyone else went on the trip.  It was the right call.  The poor kid was sick most of the day.  But, Kyle and Jameson had a blast!  They both got to ride on and pet the elephants and Jameson got to feed them!

The remainder of the week was very relaxing with a day by the pool and a catamaran sail off the coast of Phuket to do some snorkeling and swimming.  The waters off of Phuket are the clearest blue I have ever seen in the ocean and it is so refreshing to jump into an ocean that is warmer than the 65 degrees that Hampton beach reaches at the height of summer :)  Jameson loved snorkeling and Mikey loved the swimming, but even more than all of that Jameson loved climbing into the dinghy and trying to convince us that he should ride there for the trip home...we didn't let him.  Lord knows he would fall out and end up on the shore of some deserted island!

All in all it was a great trip and I hope to get back here some day.  We do plan to go to Bangkok next year so we may have to journey south a bit to say hi to Phuket again!  How can you not want to visit a place that looks like this every night:

 

A few words from Mikey about his stay in India so far

Hi this is mike(epic guy).  I will tell about my time in india so far.  I have taken a lot of trips for minimum of 3 days,  maximum is 3 weeks, but this was not just a trip this was an adventure.  When I first heard we were moving for 2 years i didn't want to leave my friends and family especially my almost dead dog.  It took a couple of weeks to really believe what i was told but I'm here now so I believe what i was told now.
                     
                        When we got on the plane we stopped in paris for a connecting flight. We waited 4 hours in the lounge.  Our connecting flight finally came I was so happy....until I found out the flight to banglore was 9 crazy hours.  luckily I was in business class so it wasn't that bad.  We got to india i met my driver (ravena) and he handed my a flower necklace that was too big but it looked good.We got in the car and started driving. there was at least a million cows, dogs and goats.

                        We've been in India for 6 weeks. it was time to go for a family trip to Goa.  The first day in  Goa we went to the beach it was warm because we are near the equator.  On the second day   in Goa I did archery with dad.  Dads best was a 8, my best was a 9.  On the 3rd and final day we went to the beach again and left right after.

         I have had a great time here so far i have made friends from india, South Africa, Australia, germany, france, Japan, the UK and America, my teacher is from Mexico. India is awesome you should come and visit. Bye see you next time

                               THE                       END

Goa - A little bit of paradise in India

The kids had a three day weekend for a Hindu holiday of Dussehra which, according to wikipedia, is celebrated with the worship of implements used in daily life such as computers, books, vehicles, or kitchen tools.  Buses, trucks and machines in factories are decorated.  The effort to see the divine in the tools and objects one uses in daily life is central to this celebration so it includes all the tools that help one earn one's livelihood.  Knowledge workers go for books, pen or computers, farmers the plough and other agricultural tools, machinery for industrialists and cars/buses/trucks for the transportation workers - all are decorated with flowers and worshiped on this day invoking God's blessing for success in coming years.  Our driver took part in the celebration and decorated our car for our trip home from the airport.

Because of this celebration we were able to go away for a quick getaway to Goa, which is a resort area on the West coast of India.  It is known as a Spring Break type of vacation spot for foreigners looking for a fun, coastal vacation.  There are quieter areas of Goa that are more relaxing and friendlier for families and that is where we went.  We stayed at the Park Hyatt Goa which is only 20 minutes from the airport - something that was important because I didn't want to spend most of a three day trip driving to/from the airport.  It also has many pool areas including slides and waterfalls to keep the kids busy.  Originally we had intended to do some sightseeing and see how the West of India is similar and/or different from Bangalore.  However, on the day before the trip I came down with a minor case of Delhi belly.  I don't think I need to explain this to anyone, but suffice it to say that while I wasn't terribly sick, I also wasn't too confident to spend any amount of time in a car stuck in traffic.  Therefore, we spent a very relaxing long weekend at the resort doing almost nothing.

Jameson and Mike enjoyed the pool, particularly the slide, and they also enjoyed bodysurfing (with pool tubes) in the Ocean.  Neither sport was too kind on their bodies as they are now covered in scrapes and bruises from the sand and the scratchy slide surface.  But that didn't stop them!

Mike took an archery lesson and enjoyed it so much he went back each day for a turn to shoot arrows at a target.  He managed to get at least one bullseye on each outing and the instructor was amazed that he never missed the board.  He also got to play some cricket for a little while, but there weren't too many people interested in playing so it was Kyle and Michael playing with Jameson providing commentary in an English accent - which is somehow immensely more funny to the kids than should be possible.

And what better way to relax from a busy day in the pool than on the lounge chair with a book and a chocolate milkshake!

The weekend was so relaxing and fun that we almost forgot we were still in a third world country.  But, India has a way of reminding you just where you are!  On Saturday night as we were walking to dinner the power went out leaving us in pitch darkness on our walk.  This was't too scary because we were pretty comfortable with the direction we needed to travel in, but in true India style, the pathways are very uneven and include many stones that are significantly higher than the one next to it resulting in minor trips.  This isn't too bad when you can see the rise and fall of the walkway, but in pitch black I was high stepping the entire walk (at least no one could see me.)  The lights did return within 3 minutes or so but they continued to go off and on for the remainder of our dinner.  Ahh, the joys of India :)

But, when the view every evening looks like ours did in Goa, I think I can manage the minor power issues :)

Driving in India - I guess I've arrived!

Driving in India is quite an adventure.  I once asked Kyle which side of the road Indians drove on.  He responded by laughing while telling me that the rule of the road is to drive on the left, but no one really follows the rule of the road in India.  Seriously, he wasn't kidding.  And, his descriptions of the roads in India could not prepare me for the reality.

He told me drivers drive on the left side of the road but they share the road with carts and bikes and busses and construction vehicles and pedestrians that all feel they have the right of way and that all travel at completely disparate speeds.  Makes for an interesting congestion on the roads.  But, not to worry because no one really needs to "follow lane discipline" as the road signs here implore people to do.

On a daily basis I witness most cars pull into traffic without stopping to make sure it is safe to do so - everyone has the right of way after all.  Who needs to make sure it is safe to move when you are always in the right.  Also on a daily basis I witness four or more vehicles riding side by side and passing each other on what appear to be two lane roads - they only appear to be two lane roads because there are no actual lines to determine lanes.  If the vehicle in front of you is moving too slowly go around it.  No need to make sure there are no cars coming in the opposite direction because you have the right of way.  And, it is possible to pass a car that is at the same time passing a bus.  Why wait for one car to pass when two can do it at the same time.  Throw in cows, goats, street dogs and pedestrians and the roads are chaotic at best.

Adding to the confusion, everyone beeps all the time.  It isn't the angry "lay on your horn" type of beeping that we are used to in traffic in the states.  It is a more polite "hey, i'm passing you make sure you don't move an inch to your left or we'll crash."  But it happens all the time.  So much so that hotels catering to foreigners have installed barriers to deflect the noise.

It is said that one has arrived in India when they can ride in a vehicle passing a bus with another bus barreling down on them in the opposite lane without flinching.  Well, I've arrived.  Somehow I just trust that my driver is going to sneak into the tiny space between the bus and the car whose bumper the bus is nearly touching just in time to avoid the oncoming bus that doesn't care we are in the way.  Even scarier, one of those busses is likely carrying school children.  That isn't to say that I haven't held my breath believing that if I make myself skinnier it will somehow make the car skinnier and we will be able to better fit in the ridiculously tight space that the driver is driving through.

Once one gets comfortable in the car it is possible to take in the sights around the roads.  It is amazing the things to see - never a boring moment.  We've witnessed people walking their cows, families of four or more traveling on motorcycles, people carrying ladders and gas tanks and other dangerous cargo on their bikes.  Most surprising to me are the families because the father is almost always wearing a helmet, but no one else is.  In the photos below you can see the back view of a motorcycle and if you look closely you'll see the mother is holding a small child.  The second photo is a side view of the same family and you can see the child's arm holding on to her mother.

Families get used to this type of travel I guess and it just seems normal to them.  The crazier things I've seen usually happen before I can get my camera out to take a picture.  But today I was able to capture two men on a motorcycle with the man in back carrying a large stool of some sort.  I don't know how they manage to weave in and out of traffic and not lose whatever is being carried.  Crazy!!!

Never a dull moment in crazy India.

We survived the first month

As I've mentioned before, our mantra at the beginning was to just survive the first month.  Here we are, one month in, and we've survived.  The boys are going to school without too much complaint.  Mike is playing soccer and having a blast and Jameson is about to start with a film making club at school.  I went to bed last night thinking about writing this blog post and how they've shown resiliency and truly adapted to being in a foreign city.  They've risen to the challenge of living in a foreign country and even though Bangalore is a dirty and crowded place with many challenges, we have all managed find a way to fit here.

Jameson wants to get a group of friends together to pick up all of the trash on the streets and rescue all of the street dogs - there are a lot of both here.  Mike wants to get a group of friends together and start a baseball team - because of course every place is better off with a baseball team.  I'm not sure this will happen because he is too busy playing soccer and learning cricket and generally creating havoc everywhere he goes.  I am hanging out with friends and looking at different volunteer opportunities.  There are so many people in need here - another blog post in and of itself.

At the start of this adventure I was concerned that I would be bored.  Seriously, I have a housekeeper that works all day, 5 days a week cleaning and doing laundry and ironing our clothes.  And, I have a cook who makes us delicious dinners every night.  What else is there to do?  But I've actually been really busy with different activities and meeting friends - Kyle often comments about my "tough" life of friendly lunches and meetings of the Overseas Women's Club.  I tell Kyle all the time that as an HR professional responsible for bringing expats and their families into new and sometimes difficult living situations that I am doing exactly what he wants the spouses of all of his employees doing.  Keep us busy and happily involved in various activities and life will be much easier and work more productive for your employees.  If we are bored, lonely and miserable your employees will be miserable.

In addition to the adjustments we've all made over the past month, I was thinking about how pleased I am that we've managed to get through the month relatively unscathed.  We've all been relatively healthy, no mishaps in a country that I've heard many people refer to as a US lawyer's dream for all of the potential hazards.  That is until midnight when Michael fell into my bed with a high fever and feeling nauseous.  He and I spent the night on the bathroom floor waiting for him to throw up - he never did. ...on a side note here, my mom is totally getting payback through Michael.  He is as dramatic and needy as I ever was as a sick child!... But his fever did get as high as 102.5, and, since we had an evening of misapplied bug spray resulting in several mosquito bites earlier in the week I naturally got a bit concerned.  I looked up his symptoms on webmd.com (my favorite reference for all self-diagnosis opportunities!)  I was pretty sure that he had a standard virus and possibly the flu but that he was ok.  Even still, I thought he should go to the doctor.  Of course, that meant waiting for our driver to get back to the house after dropping Kyle off at work.  With the bad traffic he didn't get there until 10:15.  We went right to the clinic - luckily a new neighbor is a pediatrician at the clinic and she told me to come right in even without an appointment.  The clinic is only about 5 miles away - but given Bangalore road conditions and traffic that was a 50 minute drive.  Ravenna, our driver, was so worried about Mike that he drove the wrong way down the street for the last 3 blocks because the traffic on the other side of the road was open and he wanted to get there!  Surviving Bangalore driving is another blog post...stay tuned.

We got there and I wasn't sure what to expect.  Most of my previous healthcare related situations have occurred in the US.  US healthcare is considered the best in the world -  at least by everyone in the US. But everyone I have talked to here has told me that healthcare in India, at least for people who can afford it, is very good.  They were right.  I went into the clinic.  Paid 450 Rupees for an appointment (that is the total cost, not an insurance co-pay cost).  Mike was seen quickly and Dr. Sonal assured me that he has a virus.  If he is not better in 3 days we will go back for additional testing, but there is a virus going around and his symptoms are classic.  She prescribed 3 different medications - Motrin for the fever and two different stomach medicines for his upset stomach.  I picked them up at the onsite pharmacy for a total of 512 rupees.  Again that is total cost, not an insurance co-pay cost.  The doctors here don't take the insurance information.  Patients pay out of pocket and submit the records to the insurance company for repayment.  Most people don't even have insurance.  The entire visit cost me 962 Rupees.  At today's exchange rate, that is a cost of $15.40.  Unbelievable!  And this was a private clinic without government funding.  I received top notch care (this doctor friend of mine studied in India and trained and worked in the US for many years before returning to India about a year ago) for under the co-pay cost of a visit in the US.

There are many things that I was unsure about in terms of the move.  All of the worries that a mother is going to have...what if my kids hate it, what if someone gets really sick, what if I get bored of perfect weather all the time (ok, I made that one up :)).  And of course I am still worried about the kids and the potential for illness, but I am no longer worried about their ability to adjust and fit in.  They still talk about their friends at home and keep in touch via email and FaceTime, but they also are finding friends here and having fun.  And I am no longer worried about the quality of care. When I return in two years I think I will have a very different view of the healthcare system in the US.  One where patients are rushed in and out of appointments, medications are prescribed based on what the pharmaceutical companies are marketing rather than what the patient truly needs, and one where there is so little transparency that patients have no idea of the cost of anything until the insurance company denies a claim and makes it so cumbersome for the average person with responsibilities and busy schedules to fight for coverage that they just give up.

The kids in India

We are going on week three here in India and the kids are finding it easier to be here.  They still miss their friends but they don't seem to miss the other comforts of home as much as they used to.  We never watch tv here other than an occasional movie on the weekend.  They also don't have most of their toys and books that are coming over on the sea shipment which won't arrive until late October.  They only have the few items that would fit in their carry on luggage.  But, they keep busy with friends and their Nintendo DS while they wait for their toys to arrive.

I have always considered myself a pretty laid back parent.  I am strict about certain things like wearing a helmet for bike riding or making sure that they don't even go near the pool without an adult present, but for other things I have always felt that my kids are going to learn better if they go off on their own and make up their own games and settle playground squabbles without the interference of adults.

What I have found is that as laid back as I might think I am, the parents here in India make me look like a mommy warden!  There are kids as young as 5 and 6 out riding bikes alone (without helmets) and going to the clubhouse pool without any supervision at all.  There is a lifeguard at the pool, but I am not convinced that he is actually equipped to save anyone - he guards the pool in a sweatshirt, sweatpants, and sneakers.  The kids take off in the morning to find their friends and they come back for dinner when it starts to get dark and the parents may not see them in between.  My kids are given much more freedom here then they had at home.  They can take their scooters to the Palm Meadows store to buy a drink and some candy and they can scooter to their friends houses even if those houses are across the development.  I think there are about 400 houses in the development so it isn't huge, but much bigger than the radius of one street that they were used to at home.  But, I have not given in on the pool yet.  If they want to go to the pool I need to be there.  I think that is fair.

The other adjustments the kids need to make is with the traffic here.  Even though we are in a gated community, there is still much more traffic than the kids are used to and the driving skill is just as bad within the development as it is outside.  Cars are on the wrong side of the road or passing each other on dangerous corners without concern for kids on scooters or walking.  The kids need to be much more aware of their surroundings here.  Even on the school bus!  The first day they got on the school bus, Jameson was the last child on and the bus started moving (which here means it peeled out of the parking area) before Jameson even made it to the seats.  Kids are flying around the bus while trying to get to their seats and no one seems to be bothered by it.  It is amazing to me that there hasn't been a significant accident or injury to a child with the way these busses operate.  But, the kids adapt and figure out how to be safe within the changing environment.

I am excited that my kids are moving around on their own without wanting me to be with them all the time.  They are doing a great job of meeting other kids, entertaining themselves outside, and basically experiencing life without the interference of electronics (at least most of the time).  But I still worry about them.  I guess even the most laid back mom is going to worry about her kids.

Ganesha Chaturthi

Monday was the celebration of Ganesha.  I couldn't get much detailed information about the holiday from our driver so I turned to my trusty research source, Wikipedia:

Ganesha Chaturthi is the Hindu festival celebrated on the birthday (rebirth) of Lord Ganesha, the son of Shiva and Parvati.

It is believed that Lord Ganesh bestows his presence on earth for all his devotees during this festival. It is the day when Ganesha was born. Ganesha is widely worshipped as the god of wisdom, prosperity and good fortune and traditionally invoked at the beginning of any new venture or at the start of travel. The festival, also known as Vinayaka Chaturthi ("festival of Ganesha") is observed in the Hindu calendar month of Bhaadrapada, starting on the shukla chaturthi (fourth day of the waxing moon period). The date usually falls between 19 August and 20 September. The festival lasts for 10 days, ending on Anant Chaturdashi (fourteenth day of the waxing moon period).

I mention this because I found a Ganesha "shrine" during my walk to the ATM this morning.  In our development there is an ATM located at the entrance to the club house which is where most of the local employees begin their day.  While there I found this:

It was dark and I was using an old iPhone to take the picture so I apologize for the poor quality.  But, the center of the picture shows the Ganesh statue and all around the statue are blinking lights and the employees brought plates of food which are sitting in front of the statue.  At the end of the celebration the Ganesha is brought to a local water source and submerged.  Some Indians now submerge the Ganesha in bath tubs because the Ganesha actually cause harm and pollution to the local water supplies.  

As a side note, our driver keeps a small Ganesha on the dashboard of our car because he believes it removes obstacles - a very good quality to have in Bangalore traffic :)

Schools are just different here...

Two weeks in and still no phone!  I may go crazy soon.  Although, I am getting used to being without a phone and Kyle can always get in touch with me via the driver so I'm not entirely out of touch.  As I keep saying...Gotta love India!  It is impossible to apply my typical western logic to anything that happens in India.  I am slowly but surely getting used to the differences (not good or bad, just different.)

One of the big differences we are coming to terms with is the school.  The private schools in India run on various schedules depending upon the type of curriculum/student makeup.  The schools we looked at typically start in early August and finish around mid-June.  We knew we would miss the first few weeks of school because of the timing of our move, but the schools all assured us that given their large expat population a late start was typical and would not be detrimental to their progress.  I'm thinking we were sold a bill of goods!  In any event, we chose Indus for a variety of reasons:

• it is closer to where we live than the other schools
• it has a nice ratio of expat students and Indian students
• we received word of mouth recommendations
• the curriculum is challenging but not over the top difficult as it is at some private Indian schools

Surprisingly to me we are finding a huge divide between the expectations/rules of the traditional US schools and Indus.  For instance, students of all ages are in the hallways at all times.  Apparently, if a student wants to leave the classroom for any reason they simply get up and leave.  No raising their hand, no asking permission.  Don't want to go to art class, no worries, just get up and wander the hallways or walk around outside.  Need to go to the bathroom or the nurse, just go.  The teachers have no idea where the students are if they are not in the classroom.  

Even more disturbing to me is the culture of talking over each other.  The teacher may be speaking to the class but half of the students are engaged in side conversations that are interfering with the lesson.  No one stops the side conversations.  Don't want to pay attention to the teacher, just talk to your neighbor.  There seems to be little respect for authority and little respect for each other.  This is very difficult for my boys because they know the behavior is "wrong" according to the rules they are used to, but it isn't being treated in the way they expect so it causes confusion and anxiety.  

I'm sure it won't take long for the boys to figure out that the rules are different here and they won't get in trouble if they start to act like their fellow classmates.  This is particularly difficult for the kids, like mine, who are four weeks behind and having difficulty understanding the heavily accented english anyway.  Add in the side conversations and other distractions and they may catch half of what the teacher is trying to teach them - creating more anxiety and stress.

Should be an interesting year.  I have written several emails to the teachers asking them to let me know at the first hint that my children may be out of line or falling behind in class.  But I'm not sure that the idea of "out of line" even means anything to them.  

On the positive side, all kids, regardless of grade, have a long break for lunch/recess.   Kids need exercise and they need to have breaks throughout the day.  I love that the kids at Indus get to run around before school starts and in the middle of the day.

I keep reminding myself that there is going to be an adjustment period and that the boys are learning more in life experiences than they ever could in a classroom anyway.  That said, I'm seriously considering removing the kids from school and using private tutors for next year (or sooner) if this year continues along this path.  

Settling In...some observations

When Kyle and I began discussing the possibility of a move to India several months ago I delved into the research - in typical Kristin style!  I truly feel like we entered this adventure with eyes wide open.  I knew India was a third-world country with third-world problems and that the adjustment would be extremely difficult.  Moving two children from a beautiful, tiny NH town of 5,000 people to a dirty, crowded city teeming with millions of people would not be an easy transition.  Our mantra was...Just survive the first month.  We figured if we could get through the difficulties of the first month we could get the kids adjusted enough to enjoy living here and get the most out of the experience.

Well, we have three more weeks to go to get through that first month and so far the experience has been as difficult as expected.  Some of the more challenging aspects:

• I do not have phone service.  We have been trying to get me an Indian cell phone for the past week and have not been able to.  In India phones and service plans are purchased separately.  So, technically I have a cell phone.  But the AirTel service provider has a million hoops to jump through before allowing service.  We've been told we can't have service because I don't have any paperwork with my address on it.  So, we used Kyle's name for my phone, but his Indian address is a different one then where we live because he was in temp housing for several months.  Since AirTel verifies addresses with a personal visit (can you imagine AT&T coming to your house to make sure you live there!) they will not approve coverage.  We finally convinced them that we live where we say we do so they agreed to use Kyle's US license as one form of ID (in addition to his Indian Visa, passport, lease agreement, and official Indian work permits).  Since his license expires in December (3 months away!) they told us it was an invalid form of ID and could not approve the service plan.  MADDENING!!!  So, still don't have a phone...
• And, since I don't have a phone the school can not call me if something goes wrong.  Which is a definite possibility since school has been a challenge as we expected.  It is difficult to adjust to any new school, but one where your teachers speak heavily accented english and follow a different curriculum is especially challenging.  And, there is far less handholding at this school than US schools (which will eventually be a great thing) but will take time for the kids to get used to.  As an example, the teacher will mention homework in passing and expect the kids to make a mental note of the assignment and then remember that assignment when they get home.  No one is reminding them to write down the assignments at the end of the day.  Again, I think this could be a very good thing once the kids get accustomed to the situation, but it makes for high-anxiety evenings when they get home and have no idea what their homework assignments are.
• We have a driver - which is great because driving in India is insane.  Imagine Boston drivers driving through downtown Boston without traffic signals or lane markings and with tractors, cows, goats, walkers, bikers, pushcarts and various other vehicle forms all sharing the same roads.  So a driver is great!  But, I am totally dependent on him to get anywhere and he is gone from 8:30 am until 10:30-11:00 am every morning to drive Kyle to work.  So, if there was a problem at school and somehow the school managed to contact me, I'd need to find my driver that I can't call (who could be driving Kyle somewhere or out running errands for us) and then get to the school which is at least 45 minutes away traffic depending.
• I've attempted to communicate with the school via email since I don't have a phone, but that has been a challenge as well since our WIFI has gone down twice this week for several hours each day.  When WIFI goes down I lose all ability to communicate with anyone.  I guess its kind of like how my mom lived when I was a kid in the 70s and she didn't have a cell phone, email, or even a car to get us even if we needed to be picked up!
• We lose power Every. Single. Day!  several times a day, sometimes for hours at a time.  We have a backup generator that powers the fans, the fridge and some lights, but nothing else works, including the remaining kitchen appliances and AC, which makes sleeping difficult.  And sometimes when the power goes out it is accompanied by noises which can be scary for kids that don't know what it is.  And, sometimes we'l spend ten minutes in a vicious cycle of: power goes out, generators kick in, generators kick off, power comes back, power fizzles out, generator kicks in...mostly this is annoying, but when it happens during the night it will cause the boys to get nervous.
• One thing the kids really dislike...the constant application of sunscreen and bugspray!

I know I sound very down on India, but that is not the case!  I realize how fortunate I am to have this amazing opportunity for me and my family.  I've already begun planning my first weekend away with a couple of women I've already met (other Fidelity wives) for a photography excursion to Veranasi to view the Ganga of Benares (I'll let you know more about that when I learn more about it!)  I have met some amazing people and my boys have already met some great friends and I'm sure they will meet more as they get settled into school.  The weather is unbeatable - 90s, sunny.  We are currently in the rainy season which means it gets humid and rains a little bit each evening, but it hasn't been too bad.  I guess it will start to get colder - and by colder I mean 70s - as we get to the end of the year, but pretty much the weather is amazing year-round.  

I'm getting more sleep now that I am finally getting over the jet lag!  More sleep means that I should be able to experience more and hopefully write more.  Let me know what you want to hear about and I will do my best to answer your questions!

We're Here

Well, after 24 hours of travel including three different airports, three trips through security (In Bangalore we needed to go through security to get out of the airport!) and a long car trip to the house, we've finally arrived.  I was surprised at how calm the kids were during the entirety of the 24 hours of travel - they enjoyed sitting in business class with the big seats, great entertainment systems, good food and endless drinks - so I was lulled into a false sense that everything was ok.

It was not.  Even though they were fine throughout the trip, as soon as we got to the house the reality of the move settled in and they both were very sad about being here and wanted to go back home.  It has been a rough few days with lack of sleep fueling some very sad moments for the boys, but overall they seem to be adjusting well.  They do not like the constant application of sunscreen and bug spray.  They miss their friends.  And they miss their house with all of their stuff.  But, they seemed to like their new school when we visited and they have already met a few new kids to be friends with.

I'm adjusting too.  It is very common for families in India to have drivers and housekeepers.  I am doing ok with the driver since I really do not want to drive here, but I am having trouble adjusting to the housekeeper.  While it is nice to have someone else clean for me, it is very strange to have someone else in the house all day.  And, what is there to do all day that I need someone cleaning all day?  I just don't understand it.  Hopefully I'll find things to keep busy so I don't notice someone else in my house all day.

It is also incredibly difficult to get seemingly simple things done.  I still don't have a cell phone because I need proof of residence to get one, but I don't have anything with my new address on it.  And, Kyle's official paperwork is a different address since he lived in temporary housing for several months before moving into our current house.  So, we need to get his paperwork figured out first and then get my phone.  I guess this is typical for India, but it makes the DMV look like a breeze.

I'm looking forward to getting over the jet lag, getting the kids into school and a regular routine, and meeting new people here.  

Brookline - a great place to live

In all of the craziness of preparing to move to India I am realizing how great Brookline is.  I've spent the past week as stressed as I've ever been with all of the paperwork and packing necessary to get us around the world.  And in between the stressful moments I've spent time with my amazing neighbors who not only get me to relax with a drink by the pool, but also just come to my house and pick up my trash on dump days without my needing to ask.  They bring vegetables from their gardens and make sure my house is safe when I'm not around.  It is nice to live in a small town where people look out for eachother and neighbors can be counted on to help with anything, big or small, at anytime!

In addition to my neighbors, which  I have long known were great, I've gotten to know a bunch of new baseball parents through Mikey's team.  As much as I love watching my kids do the activities they love, I was not looking forward to the commitment of all stars baseball this summer with everything else that is going on.  But even though the time commitment was intense, I've had a great time getting to know new Brookliners.  The team is one loss away from the end of their season and Mikey said to me today that he didn't want to lose because he was really going to miss everyone when it was over.  All I could do was agree with him.  I have had a great time getting to know new people and I am really going to miss them when we are gone.

Brookline is a funny little place.  It is definitely a small town with small town politics and small town gossip.  But, it is also a small town with small town friendships and small town fun.  Just today, we drove to the little ice cream stand in the gas station parking lot and passed the town BBQ and horse shoe tournament on our way.  We stopped at the ball field to listen to some music and enjoy our ice cream and then headed on our way.  As we drove home (all of two miles) we passed the Brookline Village Store with the old school pick up truck out front, the white clapboard fire house and even had to stop for a family of turkeys crossing the road.  The small things that I won't see in India and will look forward to seeing when I get back in 2015.

I am not doubting our decision to move.  I still think it is going to be a great experience.  But I am really going to miss the people here in Brookline.

Italian vacation lessons learned

We had a great time on our summer vacation to Italy.  Hopefully I'll have time to write a second post about how great the trip was, but this post is about how ridiculous the actual travel was.

Given all of the craziness going on in our lives I wasn't sure it was a great time to spend 10 days in Europe, but I'm very glad we did.  It was a great test of how the boys and I can travel (and survive airport irregularities) by ourselves.  Kyle went on vacation with us, but since his travel was booked separately than ours, we ended up on different flights at different times.  The scary part for me was changing planes in NY on our way out and in Toronto on our way back.  I am a stressed out flier always trying to make sure that my kids and I are not the hold up at security and to make sure that we are where we need to be when we need to be there.

Unfortunately, the airports in question did not help us out!  We landed in NY late so I was concerned about getting to our next flight on time.  My ticket told me that we needed to be in terminal 4 (we landed in terminal 2).  There is a quick tram to terminal 4 so I was headed in that direction when I stopped to ask a Delta employee which gate we needed to go to once we arrived in terminal 4.  Very politely she told me that my ticket was incorrect and that all flights to Rome left out of terminal 1.  Confused I asked every delta employee I saw on my long walk through a construction site to terminal 1.  Every employee, equally polite and friendly, assured me we needed to be in terminal 1.  Well, every employee expect for the employee in terminal 1 who just as politely told me we were in the wrong terminal and needed to be in terminal 4!  We made it to terminal 4 just as our flight was beginning to board.  The security employee (not quite as friendly as the others) let us go through a quicker security line and we made it to our gate just in time to get on board - phew!

We made it to Rome and met Kyle and were able to get to our rental car without too much hassle - it wasn't hassle free, just not too much hassle :)

Our week in Tuscany was fantastic.  Relaxing by the pool, quick day trips to nearby cities Montelpulciano and Florence, and great food and wine and people!  Truly an amazing time.  Then we went on to Rome where we encountered a little navigation mixup that kept sending us in circles but eventually made it to our hotel.  Rome is also great but very hot with lots of walking and far too many people to make it an easy place to comfortably walk around.  However, we had a great time here as well.  But, by the end of the trip I was ready to get back home and sleep in my own air conditioned bedroom.  Again, the airports made it difficult.

We were able to get to our flight easy enough only to discover that the plane for our 10 hour trip to Toronto had no entertainment system and all three of us were in middle seats.  I was very concerned that the kids were going to get restless and bother people around them during the flight because they didn't have enough to keep them busy.  Jameson and Michael had already finished all of the books they brought to read and the power supply on the ipads was not going to get them through the entire flight.  Some how they managed to stay entertained and only got restless at the very end of the flight.

But, then we landed in Toronto.  This is where the stress level hit the roof.  We were hot, tired and the boys were restless after spending 10 hours cooped up.  Toronto airport is not friendly nor is it easy.  We landed and got off of the plane.  Stood in line on the runway to show our passports to security officers at the end of the runway.  Then, we got in line again and went through Canadian customs.  Pretty standard stuff so far, but then it gets interesting.  We leave customs to get our luggage which is arriving on an overcrowded carousel.  I have to push through people to finally get our luggage and then start the LONG trek to recheck our luggage - at least a ten minute walk which was very difficult for overtired boys pulling suitcases that are very heavy.  We get to the location we think need to be at and see a sign indicating "WestJet customers here...all others here."  Since we weren't flying WestJet we stood in the other line.  Only, after waiting several minutes, to be told that we needed to leave that line to go to the Delta check in counter - apparently all others does not really mean all others. We manage to get three suitcases up the escalator (special thanks to the young Canadian women who stood at the top of the escalator and watched as Mike tripped over the suitcase getting off and simply watched as I followed him to a bottleneck at the top of the escalator.  Luckily there wasn't anyone behind us and we were able to right the suitcases and get on our way.)  After that I am in a ripe mood - stressed and annoyed!  We get to the Delta counter and attempt to use the kiosk - which doesn't work (and, the last time I was in Toronto the kiosks did not work and the not-so-helpful employees told us we needed to keep trying kiosks before we could get in line.  Forget that!  This time I told the boys I didn't care if the kiosks didn't work, we were now running late for our flight and needed to get our bags checked.  I went to the counter for help and was told that I didn't really need to be at the counter I needed to go through US customs.  UGH!  why aren't all employees ever on the same page!   So, we make it through US customs (my favorite question at the customs counter - how long were you in Canada?  Ummm, at this point at least an hour longer than I needed to be!), drop our bags on the carousel, and get in line for security.  Now I think we are actually in decent shape because there are only 6 or so people ahead of us in line.  WRONG!  I'm not sure what intelligence the screener was working off of, but it took us 30 minutes to get through security.  We get to the other side of security, collect our belongings and look at our tickets for gate information.  MISSING!  I start looking for a departure board for our gate listing and there is NO BOARD.  WHAT?  I find an employee, she politely tells us which gate and we are on our way.  Phew!  We made it to the gate and boarded the plane without incident.

Luckily our arrival in Boston was easy, our luggage arrived quickly and we got in our car and drive home without traffic!  Sadly, my dream of sleeping in my airconditioned bed was squashed when I got home to a hot, humid house. Our AC unit is broken and won't be fixed for a few more days (an new system is required).  But, we are home and ready to begin the process of packing up our house and moving our lives across the world!

In the end, I learned some valuable lessons on this vacation...
- The kids are at great ages for traveling.  They are curious about history and cultural differences and still enjoy being with their parents (for the most part)
- Kids provide specific, if not obvious, signs that can't be ignored if we are to avoid meltdowns - after three hours walking around in brutal heat the kids are going to start saying they are hungry or thirsty, it is best to immediately find a cafe and sit.  What they mean is they need a break.  If we get to a resting spot quickly enough, the afternoon can be sacrificed.  If not, we are likely to have cranky kids (and cranky mom to be brutally honest.)
- Airports generally SUCK.  As long as we stay calm and keep moving we'll be fine.
- And #1 - NEVER, EVER, EVER fly through the Toronto airport.  I would rather drive then go to the Toronto airport.