We had our first opportunity to attend a Hindu wedding in India this past week. Kyle's administrative assistant, Gayathri, got married on Monday. It is typical for weddings to happen any day of the week in India, so while 9 am on a Monday morning seemed like an unusual time for a wedding to me, no one else batted an eye about it. The wedding took place in a very religious area of India called Tirumala.
Tirumala is a hill city that is home to a significant Hindu temple where many Hindus make pilgrimages. We noticed hundreds of people making the trek up the hillside, most in bare feet (and it is a significant hill that took 30 minutes by car).
The wedding was taking place in one of the many smaller temples in the city so we had hoped to drive up the mountain early and visit the Tirumala Venkateswara Temple. Our early morning efforts were for naught though. As we approached the entrance to the mountain there was a security process that took us over 30 minutes to get through. It was quite impressive actually. Every car and person was searched. People needed to get out of their cars and pass through security detectors similar to airport security. All bags had to be removed from the cars to go through scanners and the cars were searched. While going through this process I noticed a sign that informed us we would be imprisoned for 3 months if we were caught bringing any meat products, alcohol or tobacco products, or gaming apparatus (cards, dice, etc.) into the mountain city. So I'm not feeling quite as secure as I was at the beginning of the process, but at least I know I won't be tempted by any vices during this wedding.
We made it through and began the 30 minute drive up the mountain. I was expecting the top of the mountain to be small with a few buildings and people. I was wrong! Tirumala is teeming with people and cars just like any Indian location. It was hectic and crazy and we never did make it to the temple because it took us 30 minutes just to find the wedding location once we got to the city. But, the invitation indicated that the wedding would take place from 9:15 to 10:00 so I figured we would have time to get to the temple later. Wrong again!
I should have known better than to believe that an Indian timetable would be correct.
As an aside on Indian timing, I had a very typical interaction when I went to the mall the other day to pick up one thing I needed. Malls typically open around 10:00 but most stores don't open until closer to 10:30. I arrived at 10:40 thinking I could run in and out in a couple of minutes. But, the store was still closed at 10:40. I walked around a bit and then decided to wait outside the store at 10:50. Two other women were also waiting (turns out they were employees waiting to get in) so I asked if they knew what time the store opened. This is our conversation:
Me: do you know what time Jamal's opens?
Her: Open now, Madam.
Me: But the lights are off and the doors are locked?
Her: Open now, Madam.
Me: (thinking that maybe the store was open but the power was off so it appeared closed I attempted to open the door only to find it is still locked.) But the door is locked and the lights are off?
Her: Open now, Madam. The manager is on her way and it is open now.
Me: No, actually it will be open when the manager gets here, not now. I think our definitions of now are a bit different.
For the record, this wasn't an angry conversation. It was matter of fact. This is how it works in India. Very similar to the cable company. If they tell you they'll be at the house before noon you can expect that they may show up around 8 in the evening. It is accepted here even if it is very frustrating to someone who is annoyingly on-time.
Back to the wedding...The wedding wasn't over until close to noon. The wedding itself was inside a temple that resembled a Knights of Columbus basement room. Very nondescript and institutional. However the decorations were amazing. Flowers everywhere and very colorful. The bride and groom were married by Hindu priests dressed in their traditional orange clothing and it was quite amazing. Even though the colors and the language and the process was so different from anything I am used to seeing in church, the most startling difference to me was that the guests were talking to each other and on their phones, most people weren't seeming to pay attention, and the ones who were paying attention were standing right next to or on the alter area and taking pictures right in the faces of the bride and groom. it was so strange for me because I am used to the "no photos" warning from priests and the dirty looks from anyone around me if I whisper to someone in church.
The wedding ended around noon and was followed by lunch in the basement of the temple. Having never been to a traditional Indian wedding in India before I wasn't quite sure what to expect but Kyle knew what we were in for. The room was set up with two long tables seating about 10 people on the outside edge. The servers prepared food in pots that were carried into the room and finished preparing. We sat down and large banana leaves were placed in front of us along with a small cup of water. The water is poured onto the leaf and used to wash the leaf. Then the food is scooped onto the leaf and, once completed, the food is eaten with your hands. It is extremely messy!
Being the only westerners in the group, Kyle and I were given plastic spoons. However, I was determined to have the full experience and eat with my hands. Apparently I was not very good at it because on several occasions the other guests asked the servers to bring me a spoon. I ended with a few spoons at my place and finally the servers stopped listening to the other guests and stopped bringing me new spoons.
Back to the temple visit…Once we realized that the wedding was going to go on for longer than we anticipated, we contacted our driver to tell him that he should go visit the temple on his own. No need for him to miss the temple just because he is waiting for us. He and his wife made the walk over but the lines to get into the temple were several hours long so he did not make it inside. That was the only disappointment of the day as the wedding was beautiful and interesting and quite the experience!
And, the funny moment of the day, as we were leaving we noticed this sign that made me wonder just how many people had to shut off their engines while driving in order to require a sign?
Tirumala is a hill city that is home to a significant Hindu temple where many Hindus make pilgrimages. We noticed hundreds of people making the trek up the hillside, most in bare feet (and it is a significant hill that took 30 minutes by car).
The wedding was taking place in one of the many smaller temples in the city so we had hoped to drive up the mountain early and visit the Tirumala Venkateswara Temple. Our early morning efforts were for naught though. As we approached the entrance to the mountain there was a security process that took us over 30 minutes to get through. It was quite impressive actually. Every car and person was searched. People needed to get out of their cars and pass through security detectors similar to airport security. All bags had to be removed from the cars to go through scanners and the cars were searched. While going through this process I noticed a sign that informed us we would be imprisoned for 3 months if we were caught bringing any meat products, alcohol or tobacco products, or gaming apparatus (cards, dice, etc.) into the mountain city. So I'm not feeling quite as secure as I was at the beginning of the process, but at least I know I won't be tempted by any vices during this wedding.
 |
| The entrance to the security area upon entering Tirumala |
I should have known better than to believe that an Indian timetable would be correct.
As an aside on Indian timing, I had a very typical interaction when I went to the mall the other day to pick up one thing I needed. Malls typically open around 10:00 but most stores don't open until closer to 10:30. I arrived at 10:40 thinking I could run in and out in a couple of minutes. But, the store was still closed at 10:40. I walked around a bit and then decided to wait outside the store at 10:50. Two other women were also waiting (turns out they were employees waiting to get in) so I asked if they knew what time the store opened. This is our conversation:
Me: do you know what time Jamal's opens?
Her: Open now, Madam.
Me: But the lights are off and the doors are locked?
Her: Open now, Madam.
Me: (thinking that maybe the store was open but the power was off so it appeared closed I attempted to open the door only to find it is still locked.) But the door is locked and the lights are off?
Her: Open now, Madam. The manager is on her way and it is open now.
Me: No, actually it will be open when the manager gets here, not now. I think our definitions of now are a bit different.
For the record, this wasn't an angry conversation. It was matter of fact. This is how it works in India. Very similar to the cable company. If they tell you they'll be at the house before noon you can expect that they may show up around 8 in the evening. It is accepted here even if it is very frustrating to someone who is annoyingly on-time.
Back to the wedding...The wedding wasn't over until close to noon. The wedding itself was inside a temple that resembled a Knights of Columbus basement room. Very nondescript and institutional. However the decorations were amazing. Flowers everywhere and very colorful. The bride and groom were married by Hindu priests dressed in their traditional orange clothing and it was quite amazing. Even though the colors and the language and the process was so different from anything I am used to seeing in church, the most startling difference to me was that the guests were talking to each other and on their phones, most people weren't seeming to pay attention, and the ones who were paying attention were standing right next to or on the alter area and taking pictures right in the faces of the bride and groom. it was so strange for me because I am used to the "no photos" warning from priests and the dirty looks from anyone around me if I whisper to someone in church.
 |
| Notice the fire which is symbolic in Hindu weddings. And I'm sure the flowers and decorations are all flame resistant - this isn't dangerous at all. |
The wedding ended around noon and was followed by lunch in the basement of the temple. Having never been to a traditional Indian wedding in India before I wasn't quite sure what to expect but Kyle knew what we were in for. The room was set up with two long tables seating about 10 people on the outside edge. The servers prepared food in pots that were carried into the room and finished preparing. We sat down and large banana leaves were placed in front of us along with a small cup of water. The water is poured onto the leaf and used to wash the leaf. Then the food is scooped onto the leaf and, once completed, the food is eaten with your hands. It is extremely messy!
Being the only westerners in the group, Kyle and I were given plastic spoons. However, I was determined to have the full experience and eat with my hands. Apparently I was not very good at it because on several occasions the other guests asked the servers to bring me a spoon. I ended with a few spoons at my place and finally the servers stopped listening to the other guests and stopped bringing me new spoons.
Back to the temple visit…Once we realized that the wedding was going to go on for longer than we anticipated, we contacted our driver to tell him that he should go visit the temple on his own. No need for him to miss the temple just because he is waiting for us. He and his wife made the walk over but the lines to get into the temple were several hours long so he did not make it inside. That was the only disappointment of the day as the wedding was beautiful and interesting and quite the experience!
And, the funny moment of the day, as we were leaving we noticed this sign that made me wonder just how many people had to shut off their engines while driving in order to require a sign?
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